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(c) 2011 Christiana Lambert

(c) 2011 Christiana Lambert

Good morning! And, yes it is. Yesterday, no matter how the day progressed, I could not find any energy. What’s different today? Not a whole lot—that’s the crazy part. Do you suppose that our energy levels ebb and flow naturally but our controlling natures just refuse to accept that?

Of course, since my personal controlling nature doesn’t really want to accept that I’ve been thinking maybe I should get a Fitbit device that records the quality of my sleep and maybe the results would explain all about my inconsistent energy. Then I could say, “Ah ha! No wonder I felt tired.”

Or not, right?

Yesterday, neither my brain nor my body had any desire to do anything. Was neither depressed nor distressed so I thought if I would just get up and move to a new space, my perspective would change enough so that I could get myself going. However, despite this strategy and its frequent application, I could only manage to putter at best. Was the sort of day when I needed non-negotiable activities on my agenda but, unfortunately, had very few of those scheduled.

It wasn’t the prospect of an open day that did me in—it was who I was that day and how I felt that slowed me down so much. I tried to write, really I did. I was certain that if I went outside and moved a little and focused on some minor gardening tasks that the change of location and activity would get either my brain or my body to sharpen and move forward. But no, after said gardening tasks, I went back to a torpor in which I could not even write about something as minor as those gardening tasks.

Today I am writing—in the morning—and looking forward to getting out the door to exercise. I also have other tasks in front of me on my desk that don’t seem daunting at all.

What’s different? I had a similar amount of sleep, similar aches and pains in the night, similar diet, etc. The only thing that seems different today is my energy level.

Are these patterns just part of the mystery that is life or is there something I can do about them, for goodness’ sake? Should I accept the consistency of inconsistency or—by accepting—am I giving in to something over which I could have power?

Maybe while I have all this energy I’ll go climb some mountaintop in order to find some guru to ask.

P.S. I know that it’s afternoon by now, but I’ve been too busy being active to sit back down and edit these words until now. This morning’s run was not easy but at least just the thought of putting on my running shoes did not make me tired as it did yesterday. Have not climbed mountains nor spoken to gurus but I have been moving. Hooray for today’s energy.

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